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Tuesday, 28 February 2006

In Honor of Mardi Gras

 Let's just get this clear: I do not condone public drunkenness and debauchery.  I plan on spending the night at home, alone, watching the first season of Entourage and eating leftover chili (non-spicy bland chili! I promise!).  However, in the spirit of the day, since tomorrow begins the boring and miserable, I mean, pious and humble season of Lent, I'll post the following text message conversation between the two good friends who accompanied me to Miami.  This is why I travel with these people.  S sent the initial message to B, and hilarity ensued. This is the whole text, verbatim.

 S: I got wastedDd
 B: Haha, where? and with who?
 S: Citag it was with i foot remember
 B: What?
 S: Wasted

When B sent that out to all of us, S took the liberty of sending out a scandalous pic of B that involves posing in the master bedroom of a million dollar yacht.  Where did I find these two?

Okay I lied.  I'm going out. Twice.  Entourage can wait until Lent begins.

by: DJGroovySlug at February 28, 2006 16:48 | link | comments (1) random thoughts

Monday, 27 February 2006

Monday Morning Daydreams



Sleeping on Miami Beach





Sledding in February Snow
by: DJGroovySlug at February 27, 2006 13:18 | link | comments dj groovy slug takes some snaps

Friday, 24 February 2006

So last night I joined a gym.  I  the gym in more ways than most normal people.  Love the adrenline rush.  It's my hobby - hey, at least it's not something like gambling or crack cocaine.  Anyway, this is my 4th gym in two years (I'm not a gym jumper, the number is a direct result of my having no less than 4 different places I called home in the past two years) and without a doubt the most crowded.  When I arrived to take my tour, every single cardio machine was occupied.  I must have been a post-apocolyptic robot a la The Matrix in a past life (or...a future life...) because I immediately considered that the collective of sweating bodies was producing enough energy to easily heat my apartment.   Which gives me an idea: I'll hook up the hamster's wheel to some wires and she can power my battery charger.  Sweet.

(as an aside: The funny thing about this amazingly popular chain of "fitness centers" is that when you call  they answer, "Good Afternoon, thank you for calling ______ Gym, how can I change your life today?"  I thought it was just the one near my place but I called another one today to find out their parking situation and they said the exact same thing. Bizarre. Let's try to come up with as many funny answers as possible for the next time I call them.)

So I sign up for the gym and they make you fill out an extensive survey where you assess your "goals".  I'm never one to BS my way through dumb surveys like that so I told him straight out: I have nothing to do on weeknights and I want to lose 10 lbs.  The 10 lbs is a little egregious, since I don't really have 10 pounds to spare, more like 5, but I felt like testing the limits of said fitness center.  Then I rated my motivation level for fulfilling these "goals;" I gave myself an 8.  He spent the next few minutes discussing my answers and furiously marking the survey with his discriminatory red pen, until he got to my motivation scale.

Gym man: "I noticed you gave yourself an 8 for motivation.  Is there any particular reason why you're only at 8."

Me: "I don't know. 10 seemed too fake? 8 is a nice safe answer."

Gym man: "Ok....Is there anything we can do to bring your motivation to 10?"

Me: "You can give me free membership."

Gym man: "We'll keep this at an 8."
by: DJGroovySlug at February 24, 2006 14:12 | link | comments (1) random thoughts

Friday, 24 February 2006

Finally!

And now the moment you've all been waiting for: the answer to yesterday's oh so challenging test.  I hope I haven't kept you in suspense, although I imagine the feeling was akin to jumping up and down and grabbing of the crotch when one needs to use the restroom. 


Obviously it was a test of the psyche, designed to determine how well your your id, ego and superego are in balance with each other.  Because the most obvious and logical answer is: the woman killed her father in the hopes that the stranger would show up for the funeral. 

This is allegedly a test used to identify psychopaths. Allegedly, all psychopaths know the right answer immediately, and normal folk do not. Because it is entirely logical, but only in an amoral world. 

Freaky!


I should mention that the "test" is considered a hoax, but think about it: did you come up with the answer immediately? And doesn't it seem like a psychopath would find the answer immediately obvious?  Now for all you who didn't actually express your thoughts in the comments and still managed to come up with the answer, I think I'd be more comfortable if you stopped viewing my blog, but since we're working off of the honor system here, I'll just say "please don't kill me."  We'll give AG a moratorium, since we'll just assume that the right answer didn't come to her immediately and that it was merely a dazzling display of her wit and sound reason.  Otherwise,  I'll just say "please don't kill me, AG."
by: DJGroovySlug at February 24, 2006 10:01 | link | comments (3) random thoughts

Thursday, 23 February 2006

A Test I Want All of You To Take

While attending her mother's funeral, a woman meets a stranger whom she has never seen before. She is intensely attracted to him. It is love at first sight, and she decides this is the man of her dreams. But the funeral ends and he leaves before she can find out his name or who he is. No one seems to know.

Two weeks later, the woman murders her father.

The question is: WHY did she murder her father? No necessary information is being withheld.

by: DJGroovySlug at February 23, 2006 09:57 | link | comments (5) random thoughts

Wednesday, 22 February 2006

smallcandleani.gif
For Samantha Michelle
Born too Soon: February 22, 200

For our friend and her family, Kandy.
by: DJGroovySlug at February 22, 2006 14:55 | link | comments (1) random thoughts

Friday, 17 February 2006

I'm never one to discuss work and certainly never gossip (really, there's nothing interesting to gossip about anyway).  But all of a sudden there's a minor "crisis" in my section because someone from another section helps out and his boss doesn't want him to help us anymore.  And for some reason, everyone involved feels the need to share their opinion about it all with me, complete with less-than-flattering opinions regarding the other party.  Frankly, I'm running out of things to say beyond "Mm-hmmm," "right," "yeah," and "I see."  Why do people feel the need to do this? And why do they think I want to hear it? 

On another note, I leave for Miami tomorrow with my two good friends.  Whenever someone finds out I'm going to Miami, I'm regaled with a story that ends with some sort of variation of "So we were walking home from the club at like 7 in the morning and the sun was coming up..." I wish I could say that these came from people my age.  I wish I could...

And finally, I sent them both the following e-mail because they're supposed to come to dinner: "Anyway, you all better be coming for dinner tonight b/c my martha stewart ass marinated chicken last night so it has to be cooked tonight." To which I received the response: "Woohoo!!! I'm all about some martha stewart ass marinated chicken."  See, this is why I'm going to Miami with these people.

Have a great long weekend everyone!
by: DJGroovySlug at February 17, 2006 09:58 | link | comments (1) things that make me happy, things that make me unhappy

Wednesday, 15 February 2006

You Should See the Card He Gave Me, Too!

I got the ultimate Valentine's day gift last night: a cash crop of about 25 Cadbury Creme Eggs, which, among other things such as hamsters, The Golden Girls, and Baja Fresh, is a surefire way to my heart (although my valentine unwisely dumped the whole lot on my bed like they were flower petals, and, while a sweet gesture, I'm sure one morning my backside will eventually find one we failed to account for during the cleanup.)  I'm spending the morning deciding what to do with them.  I'm hoping at least one will hatch with the magical Cadbury bunny and my lifetime supply of Cadbury Creme eggs will be set.  Insert maniacal laugh here. 

Creme Eggs!

Or I could do what this person did and make a Giant Creme Egg:

 

It's Huge!

 

Mmmmm. Sweet carbohydrate goodness.  Good-bye waistline, hello catotonic sugar rush!

 

by: DJGroovySlug at February 15, 2006 13:40 | link | comments (7) things that make me happy

Tuesday, 14 February 2006

Too bad he has a girlfriend now....

 

 

Happy Valentine's Day everybody!

by: DJGroovySlug at February 14, 2006 09:20 | link | comments (3)

Friday, 10 February 2006

I Blog for You

by: DJGroovySlug at February 10, 2006 09:25 | link | comments (4) random thoughts