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Monday, 31 July 2006

A Series of Really Really Really Cute Photos




Look at my new baby!! The roommate, the boy and I went hamster shopping this weekend.  My roommate bought a little girl she named Gouda and here is my new hamster, which I named "Replacement."  Just kidding, her name is "Not. B.B." 

Okay, it's Gadget.  Virtual cupcake for the first person who correctly guesses the source of that name!

She's tiny.


I shall squash you, furry bug.

They are in seperate cages but generally ignore each other when we do put them together, although Gadget was suspiciously curious about Gouda's rear end yesterday, leading us to question the acuracy of Petco's small rodent sex expert.  Luckily nothing ensued.  I'm pretty sure she's a girl.

Here's Rachel's hamster, Gouda.


Cutest photo ever.
by: DJGroovySlug at July 31, 2006 14:39 | link | comments (1) dj groovy slug takes some snaps

Monday, 31 July 2006

Top 5 Things I'm Not Looking Forward To This Week

by: DJGroovySlug at July 31, 2006 09:05 | link | comments (1)

Friday, 28 July 2006

LISTEN TO ME RAMBLE PT. 2

As per my previous post,  wouldn't it be great if somewhere in the Barbie storyline they veered towards "Out of the Closet Blaine" when he heartbreakingly breaks up with Barbie for their mutual friend "Ass-less Chaps Gary", proprieter of the local surf shop by day and Club Diva by night.    It's a whole category of dolls marketed specifically for the young gay male!!! My god, I'm going to make millions.

For the future Gen Z gals, there can be "Emotional Train Wreck Barbie" who eats lots of ice cream and blames her problems on her relationship with her mother and her dependency on "Gay Best Friend Blaine" since their failed relationship, thus resulting in Barbie's inability to ever trust and/or love another doll again.  And Barbie's sister, "Low Self Esteem Stacy" with a cell phone attached to her hand to call "Unresponsive to My Needs Luke"  at the drop of a hat.  MAYBE IF HE WOULD JUST ANSWER HIS PHONE WHEN I CALL, IT'S 2AM WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY BE DOING THAT HE CAN'T ANSWER UNLESS HE'S OUT WITH THAT TRAMP "Sleeps Around Teresa"???

® This idea has been trademarked by Arlene F.  If I see this on the market in a year, expect to hear from my attorneys.  YES I HAVE MORE THAN ONE. 
by: DJGroovySlug at July 28, 2006 14:10 | link | comments

Friday, 28 July 2006

LISTEN TO ME RAMBLE

Apparently I'm way out of the loop on these things, but did you know Barbie dumped Ken and is now going out with Blaine?  I had to see what the new hunk looked like, and boy.  I'm not saying that the way a person dresses/looks dictates anything about their personality.  Or sexual orientation.  But my god, didn't Barbie's gaydar twitch just the slightest when she met him???  He's wearing a purple leather blazer!!! And a puka shell necklace!!! PUKA SHELLS.


by: DJGroovySlug at July 28, 2006 10:25 | link | comments (2)

Thursday, 27 July 2006


woohoo phallic shaped rollar coasters!!!


My roommate's boyfriend, who is oddly enough, also named Adam, spent a portion of last night freaking her out over the phone with the stats of the Cedar Point rollar coasters since we set our date for the trip and are making arrangements this week.

I hadn't given it much thought other than trying to figure out how to schlep a big group of people the 8 hours up to Sandusky, OH, a place I didn't even know existed until Sanjay and The Boy both seperately mentioned they always wanted to go.  So I made it happen, because I need a break. Now I'm pumped as I read up on it more. 

WIkipedia tells me that Cedar Point "is the world's largest amusement park (by ride count) with 68 rides including 16 rollercoasters and has the world's second tallest and second fastest roller coaster, Top Thrill Dragster."  Also "Cedar Point has been voted "Best Amusement Park in the World" for 8 years running by Amusement Today newspaper (1999 - 2006)."  Hells yes.

Adam-Not-My-Boyfriend (that's his Indian name) told her about the Top Thrill Dragster which launches you 420 feet in the air.  Being the enginerds that they are, they calculated the force, gravity and all that and figured the rollar coaster reached speeds upwards of 120mph, meaning that the Cedar Point website isn't lying.

I, on the other hand, prefer the less scientific approach and feel the best way to illustrate the terror that is the Top Thrill Dragster is with an image:

by: DJGroovySlug at July 27, 2006 12:13 | link | comments (3)

Wednesday, 26 July 2006

When I Grow Up, I Want to be Carl Monday

 

Maybe it's old, what do I know.  But man, I would actually watch the evening news if Carl Monday was on Fox 5 every night.  I would buy TiVo for Carl Monday.

by: DJGroovySlug at July 26, 2006 15:41 | link | comments

Tuesday, 25 July 2006

Don't Feel Like Talking About Anything in Particular so I'll do a Mindless Survey

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Arlene
Current Location: Work.  Is there any other place?  Honestly....if you're not at work right now.  Well.  I envy you.  Immensely.
Eye Color: Brown.  Not horrifically exciting
Hair Color: Brown.  Even less exciting.  Luckily my dad has blue eyes.  I'm hoping some recessive genes emerge in my future kids. 
Righty or Lefty: Right handed.
Zodiac Sign: Cancer. And a classic one at that.  I don't care if you don't believe that stuff, it describes me perfectly.

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your heritage: Why do I bother with these surveys?  Get a dictionary fools.  If you mean ethnicity, then I'm a mutt. 
Your fears: I'm really afraid of vomiting in public.  So afraid that it makes me sick to my stomach.  Making me more afraid I will throw up in public.  The most vicious cycle ever.
Your weakness: Easily food.  Dessert.  Hamsters and other cute critters.
Your perfect pizza: My boyfriend makes amazing homemade pizza.  Sauce and cheese quality are very important.  I like onions. 
Like to achieve: I want to see Antarctica one day.  I really want an advanced degree in the worst way.  Also, I'd like to spearhead the law that punishes men who leer at women on the street.

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW:
Your thoughts when you woke up: Is it bad that I went back and edited that question so that conjugation and numbers were in agreement?  It's the english major in me I guess.  Um....wide range of thoughts....is that the hamster making that noise?  What time is it? How long can I feasibly sleep in?
Your best physical feature: My hair.
Your bedtime: I don't like being tired so I have no problem going to bed at 10pm.  That being said, I'm usually asleep during the 11-12 Comedy Central quasi-news hour.
Your most missed memory: I really don't understand what this question means.  Does that mean I lost this particular memory?  If I lost it, how will I even know I missed it?  I really miss remembering how to play tennis...

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK:
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi is far superior but really, it matters little if at all when there are STARVING CHILDREN IN DARFUR.
McDonalds or Burger King: Does one really have to pick?  If so, at least Burger King burns "grill marks" into their meat and has onion rings. BUT DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE BOMBINGS IN LEBANON AND ISRAEL.
Adidas or Nike: Reebok or New Balance???
Lipton Tea or Nestea: I despise iced tea.  And I'm not a huge fan of hot tea either.
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.  Vanilla is for mid-westerners.
Cappuccino or coffee: Is anyone aware of how many calories are in those elaborate Starbucks drinks?  I simulatenously love and hate Starbucks.  I would rather have coffee but I am fully aware that cappucino tastes better.

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU
Cuss: Only on Tuesdays.  SHIT. 
Take a shower: No, I spongebathe.  But I do it everyday.  Sometimes twice a day.
Have a crush: Yes!! Matt Damon.  We brushed past each other on the way to third period biology and when he flashed that smile at me I melted.  I've been calling his house and hanging up before he picks up.
Think you've been in love: I've been in love as much as is possible at that point in life. 
Want to get married: I prefer understood monogamy in a long-term living situation.  But I guess being a life insurance beneficiary would be nice.
Believe in yourself: Believe what?  That I can fly?  That I can do it? Yes!! I believe I can do it!! I believe I can flyyyyyyyy I believe I can touch the skyyyyyyyyy.
Think you're a health freak: I'm a freak of some form or other, and very often about food and exercise. Not necessarily in a positive manner.

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: I might have dabbled in the sacramental wine during church services last week.
Gone to the mall: I think I can proudly answer no to this question.  No, I have not been to the mall in the past month.
Been on stage: No.
Eaten Sushi: Indeed.  It isn't July if you haven't eaten sushi.
Been dumped: Only twice.  Why won't anyone ever call me back?
Gone skating: It's summer...
Dyed your hair: I have no patience for that.

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
Played a stripping game: No. 
Gotten beaten up: No. This section sucks.

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLD
Age your hoping to be married: Wow, it would be nice to be married before, say, I die. Otherwise, I'm more concerned about just being happy and living my life.  Also it would be nice if everyone in America learned the difference between "your" and "you're."  I'm ashamed for half of the people who make more money than me and can't seem to grasp the difference and/or don't care. 

LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY
Best eye color: Red.  Preferably glowing.  Green is nice too.
Best hair color: Red.  Preferably glowing.  Green is nice too.
Best style: So long as when you look at him no one immediately thinks "Hey George, the previous century called, they want their clothes back," I think we'll get along just fine.

LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING
1 minute ago: This.  This has taken up entirely too much time in my life.  Also, responding to a text message.
1 HOUR AGO: I think that's when I fell asleep at my desk.  But I have coffee now, no worries.
1 YEAR AGO: Lessee....mid-July 2005.  Ohmygosh!!! Ecuador!! Ecuador was one year ago this month!!! Holy crap time goes by so fast!!!

LAYER 11:FINISH THE SENTENCE
I LOVE: The Hills and Laguna Beach and everything associated with it.
I FEEL: really ashamed with how much I love The Hills and Laguna Beach.
I HATE: picky eaters and bad tippers and people who consistently use the wrong "your/you're" in their writing.
I HIDE: very little.  I'm transparent.  Except my stomach, which is ginormous.  Back to the gym for me.
I MISS: the hamster. Immensely. 
I NEED: some money.  Actually, a lot of money.  And maybe a new car. And a new hamster.
by: DJGroovySlug at July 25, 2006 10:57 | link | comments random thoughts

Sunday, 23 July 2006

The hamster is gone.  I woke up around 9:30 am on Saturday and her cage was empty.  My roommate admitted that she might not  have properly shut up the cage when she got home the night before.  We did an immediate sweep of the apartment which yielded no results.  I had to be in Pennsylvania for a bridesmaid's dress fitting that afternoon so the best we could do is set up a a trap (a tall box with a ramp, filled with treats like peanut butter and water) and piles of food in different rooms. I got home around 10pm and nothing had been touched.  The Boy came over and we did another even more thorough sweep of the apartment, basically lifting up every surface on the floor.  We shined our flashlights everywhere but there was nothing. I slept hoping that maybe that night would yield some results, since hamsters are nocturnal.  There was nothing when I woke up and I was so depressed that The Boy dragged me to his condo since he would be painting it and wanted me to get my mind off of everything.

It didn't really hit until I came back tonight around 9pm.  Nothing had changed. I can't bring myself to clean it up - the makeshift "trap" which takes up half the hallway, the piles of seeds in every room.  I don't want to move a single thing, not even put the sofa cushions back on.  Everything is a big mess and my roommate won't be back from apartment hunting for grad school until tomorrow so I'll worry about it then. 

Part of it is the fact that I'm frustrated and upset and the idea of possibly picking something up and a dead B.B. falls out makes me want to burst into tears.  But a lot of it must have to do with what parents feel when kids are kidnapped or run away from home: they can't bring themselves to clean up the room and admit there's a chance their son or daughter is coming back.  Obviously that's an extreme comparison.  B.B. is definitely gone.  We have a very small apartment and if she hadn't come out for food at all, she is either completely out of the apartment, or no longer with us.  I would rather not think of the possibilities.  But to actually go through and clean it up?  Just can't do it.  Don't want to even acknowledge it happened, I don't even want to think about it. That way I can't get sad.

Of course everyone thinks it's stupid to make such a big deal about a hamster, but when something very small and helpless is dependant on you for it's well-being, it's hard not to feel like you've failed it miserably.  Obviously this is one of those things that just happens, completely out of anyone's control.  But I'm still sad and it still sucks.
by: DJGroovySlug at July 23, 2006 22:08 | link | comments (9)

Friday, 21 July 2006

People I Heart Without Actually Knowing Them

Stephen King, who writes a column, The Pop of King, for Entertainment Weekly, that explores pop culture and our fascination with it.  His most recent article reviews the disastrous Britney Spears Dateline interview with Matt Lauer that I didn't watch but read about extensively in the papers/internets for days following:

"In the end, this edition of Dateline was just an hour of feel-bad TV. I felt bad for Poor Brit, who looked very young, very pregnant, sometimes very bewildered, and on several occasions pretty dumb. (Losing the gum might have helped.) I felt bad for feeling even a little concerned about her problems, when hundreds of thousands of people are starving in Darfur. I felt bad for Matt Lauer, who looked too smart for the job he was doing. And I felt bad for NBC, who that night gave half an hour to the world's problems at dinnertime and an hour to a slightly over-the-hill pop princess during prime time. Yet there I was. Hell, I even took notes."
by: DJGroovySlug at July 21, 2006 16:17 | link | comments

Thursday, 20 July 2006

Things I Could Write About But I Won't

  • My annual summer tirade against air conditioning: why it is evil and why it makes my life miserable
  • My theory on the Girl Shield (addendum to The Guy Shield) which accepts the universal truth that all girls are crazy and therefore void of all guilt in resulting arguments from said crazy.
  • My recent experience of falling of the wagon, having been to Baja Fresh two times in 3 days. I may re-commit myself to rehab later this week.  I just need it one more time.  I swear it will be my last.
  • The tears shed from the impending move of my roommate, recently accepted into graduate school and moving within a month.
  • Subsequent typical bitch-moan post regarding suddenly having to replace all the furniture that belongs to her that will leave the apartment upon her departure, including, but not limited to, the couch, the table, the chairs, the television, the silverware, the cutlery, the cookware, the dishes, the tupperware, the bathroom garbage can and the creepy big-eyed kitten poster above the toilet.  Okay I'm not so upset about the last one.  Thankfully the hamster stays.  Oh, but the table the hamster cage is sitting on goes...
  • My thoughts on the current situation in Israel, because someone who majored in 19th century British literature is an expert on middle east political conflict.
  • Or I could go with the following essay titles:
    • I Suck at Tennis More Than I Do at Softball Which Doesn't Seem to be Humanly Possible.
    • Why My Life Revolves Around Iced Coffee Con Leche
    • Gmail and Gtalk are Seriously the Best Things Ever
    • Debate: Go to Virgin Festival or Not Go to Virgin Festival?
    • My Neighborhood is Full of Yuppie Twenty Year Olds who Have Degrees from the Best Schools in the Country But Can't Even Park a Car Without Regularly Hitting Someone.
    • My Neighborhood is Full of Yuppie Twenty Year Olds who Have Degrees from the Best Schools in the Country But Can't Even Leave a Note on a Car That They Have Hit
by: DJGroovySlug at July 20, 2006 09:32 | link | comments (3)