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Wednesday, 30 August 2006

I'm going around saying I'm having a "tough week," which is code for "My casserole didn't heat up all the way in the microwave and so I ate it partially cold because I'm too lazy to wait another minute."  It's funny how things bother me, silly little things like the fact that I'm convinced the privatization of utilities in America is a failed system.  That's on par with getting laid off, or having your grandma die.  Easily. 

I guess I've just reached a rut.  I'm bored.  And it's not like I'm not busy.  I've re-discovered the gym.  I've been going out.  I have major plans.  WHY AM I COMPLAINING?! YOU ARE SUCH A SELFISH BRAT ARLENE.

Is this what it means to be an adult?  As of yesterday, I've officially been gainfully employed one year at a full-time, 5-day-a-week, soul-sucking, sit-in-a-cube-all-day-and-stare-at-the-glowing-box job, something I swore I would never do when I applied for college.  I was going to be a teacher!! I was going to interact with people! I was going to make a difference!!

Now making a difference depends on whether or not I cut in line for the shuttle from the metro to my apartment building and who's evening I'm screwing over by doing so.  I thought volunteering would be a great way to fill time and get some real satisfaction but after e-mailing four or five places that sparked my interest and getting no response, I signed up for tennis lessons instead.  You had your chance for a free set of hands one day a week but NO.  Now I will improve my backhand.  Actually, my backhand is a charity case in itself.

My enthusiasm is flying out with my youth, and I've become a less attractive person as a result.  I'm no longer attracted to myself.  I wouldn't date me.  I have no reason to live anymore.  I was my own biggest fan!!  Now I'm disappointed.  D-list.  I don't even know if I would see my movies in theater anymore.  Maybe on Netflix...but only after I've caught up on season two of Veronica Mars.

The best news about becoming an adult is that you realize these ruts will pass, unless it doesn't, which means you understand you get a free pass for one (1) addiction, including, but not limited to, prescription drugs, foods high in cholesterol, purchasing of luxury goods or  alcohol. Actually just knowing that I'm going to get over it all makes me feel really good, even if right now I'm upset that there is no good liquor in the apartment and payday isn't until tomorrow.

Ah, Maturity: waiting until payday to liquor up over minor problems like low coolant levels in your vehicle.  I wear it like a fine dress.  An awards show gown, if you will.  Charlize Theron.  Not Beyonce.  God, never Beyonce.
by: DJGroovySlug at August 30, 2006 15:06 | link | comments (1)

Tuesday, 29 August 2006

This is a legitimate question for a Tuesday morning.  Do we really need gas?  Natural clean burning gas? What about electricity?  I'm quite positive that we could live without both in the apartment.  I would include water but I think bathing with costco bottled water isn't probably cost-effective.  Because I never ever want to give another utility company a dime.  A penny.  I hope the people who instituted the "initiation of service" fee at Washington Gas burns to a nice crisp in the the lower rings of hell.  And I hope he'll be charged a admittance fee for it.

Yes, thanks, I would like to pay $45 for the pleasure of having you change the name on the account and then switching the N to a Y next to the service check on your mainframe interface.  Maybe I don't know the complicated inner workings of the utilities company but I'm pretty sure it does not cost $45 for you to change the name on the computer.  Maybe a few tabs and a few taps on the keyboard and WHAM! I can cook with my natural clean burning gas.  I really hope they set you guys up with some nice lunch rooms or something because the newspapers tell me that the $45 isn't going into your paycheck. 

Oh and thanks for advising me that if I continue to pay on the account even if it's not in my own name it's considered fraud.  Maybe if you didn't charge such stupid fees for people WHO HAVE ALREADY BEEN LIVING AT THAT LOCATION FOR A YEAR they wouldn't be tempted to just ignore your dumb rules and pay on an account with someone else's name.

Indulge me in my anti-Americanism for a moment, but man, FUCK bureacracy. 

I'm seriously about to call them back.
by: DJGroovySlug at August 29, 2006 10:31 | link | comments

Monday, 28 August 2006

It's all I can do not to spend all my blogtime raving about my trip to Turks and Caicos.  Is that really all that's going on right now?

As I consult my Google Calendar, it's heartening to realize that it's pretty full for....the next 2 years.  Lessee...two wedding weekends in a row (good-bye long weekend), fancy dinner reservations 2 weeks in a row (hello calories), concert tix (good-bye hearing), tennis lessons (hello hot tennis instructor [hopefully]), Veronica Mars (hello Logan), TURKS AND CAICOS (hello tan!!), and New York City (good-bye money). 

Okay, back to work.  6 more weeks until the beach!
by: DJGroovySlug at August 28, 2006 12:21 | link | comments (1)

Friday, 25 August 2006



More fun with sign generators!!
by: DJGroovySlug at August 25, 2006 11:16 | link | comments (1)

Friday, 25 August 2006

Last night was relatively harmless, if you count starting the night off with appetizers and some fine beers, reaching a climax when I was blacklisted from the bar (I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO YOUR STINKING BAR ANYWAY, WITH YOUR WARM BEER AND CRAPPY FOOD) and culminating at another bar with me singing the Laguna Beach theme song - Hilary Duff's Come Clean - on the karaoke machine. 

See.  Relatively harmless.
by: DJGroovySlug at August 25, 2006 09:14 | link | comments (4)

Thursday, 24 August 2006

In which I learn the song "Vacation" by the Go-Gos actually has nothing to do with vacation at all

After a month of nagging and two weeks of going crazy, I have finally booked my October vacation.  WOOHOO.  I dropped Italy when I couldn't find anyone to go with me (you people suck, by the way) and as it got closer to October, I realized there's nothing I would like better than to sit and do nothing for a few days, preferably on a white sand beach with crystal clear ocean in front of me and a cold drink in my hand.  Good book and nice companion would be lovely, too.

So I familiarized myself with every single beach in the this quarter of the world (North Western Hemisphere).  I can now tell you everything you want to know about: the Caribbean, Florida, Mexico and Central America.  Their prices, their flights out of National Airport, the types of people who go there, the nightlife, the currency, pros, cons, hamsters.  Okay, not hamsters,  just checking to see if you're still there.

I really wanted Curacao, but expensive prices aside, the flight times were horribly inconvenient.  Bahamas, Los Cabos and Cancun seemed way too Disney for my taste.  All-inclusives didn't seem like a great idea.  Jamaica apparently had nice beaches but rough sand, same with Aruba.  The only place I read that had powdery soft sand, incredible diving opportunities and weren't overrun were the Turks and Caicos. 

As far as I can tell, the Turks and Caicos are incredibly underdeveloped islands east of the Bahamas with only a speckle of resorts in their major "town," "town" being an incredibly strong word for Providenciales, which is the most populated of the islands.  Maybe people who visit don't ever go into town proper, because the only pictures I could find were of beaches, resorts, and more beaches. 

Apparently there is one thing to do there: replicate a Corona commercial.  And that's fully what I intend to do.

Grace Bay in Providenciales

I am so very very excited for this. Plus, it totally lets me check off the "get a passport stamp for somewhere I have never been" on my 2006 to-do list for this year!!!
by: DJGroovySlug at August 24, 2006 16:30 | link | comments (4)

Thursday, 24 August 2006

This is an announcement to no one in particular who might believe that pleated pants are okay. 

Caroline agrees with me that pleated pants are NOT okay: "...So many adorable and not so adorable men insist on wearing pleated front pants to work. STOP! THAT ISN'T CUTE!"

Just a note.  To whoever might think it's okay.  Not anyone specific.
by: DJGroovySlug at August 24, 2006 09:07 | link | comments (3)

Thursday, 24 August 2006

"New Restaurant Bears Hitler's Name"



"BOMBAY, India (AP) - When a restaurant called 'Hitler's Cross' opened four days ago in a Bombay suburb, the city's small Jewish community was outraged, but there were few other objections.

Owner Puneet Sablok insisted then - and still does - that the name and theme of his new eatery is only meant to attract attention, with its posters of Adolf Hitler and swastikas.

"There is no intention to hurt anyone," Sablok said of his spacious restaurant, which serves pastries, pizza and salad...

Diners at Hitler's Cross also had no objections.

'Hitler was a bad man, but what's wrong with having food here?' said Ashwini Phadnis, 22, a microbiology student as she ate a piece of chocolate cake."

In other news, "Saddam's Place," an upscale creperie, has opened on the Upper West Side of Manhattan in New York City last week.  Images of Saddam's mass genocide of the Kurds as well as numerous statues of the famed dictator dot the restaurant, which serves french style crepes and features an impressive list of foie gras.

Diners seem oblivious:

"Sure it's tasteless and a cheap ploy for attention.  But have you tried the nutella crepe?! THE NUTELLA?!" Diner Sarah Liverpool excliamed.

source: WTOP
by: DJGroovySlug at August 24, 2006 08:56 | link | comments

Wednesday, 23 August 2006

DAMN YOU CREDIT CARD RETENTION PEOPLE.  And damn you, Soothing Voice Vanessa.  One day I will cancel my credit card.  ONE DAY.  [Angrily shaking fist in air.]
by: DJGroovySlug at August 23, 2006 16:33 | link | comments (1)

Wednesday, 23 August 2006

Allow me to appease the bored with Vischeck, a website that converts your own image files and websites to show how it looks to people with varying levels of color-blindness.  Isn't it weird to think that you can grow up and lead a normal life and never realize you can't tell the difference between red and green?  I've always wondered what the world looks like to the color blind.  I uploaded an image and filtered it with the rare blue-yellow color blindness. 




by: DJGroovySlug at August 23, 2006 14:44 | link | comments