start your own blog now!
 
Read other blogs...

Home » November 2006

Thursday, 30 November 2006

I hate myself for applying to UMD for grad school.  It's not really my fault.  You know how Borat thinks all Jews have horns?  Virginians believe you go to UMD either when you have a ghetto pass or when your family can't afford to send you to George Washington University (well, I mean, let's face it.  That's actually probably true). 

Today I took the time to sit in on some classes at my grad schools of choice and Maryland was my second stop.  UMD is fairly different from my college experience, since, yes, my school had a high population of commuters.   I appreciate the type of students that GMU attracted, probably because I never really saw myself hanging out with people who pay $350 for a brick of the old school basketball arena.   Freaks.

First of all.  I pulled into a shopping center with a drug store, coffee shop and bank and all the spots were metered.  WTF.  I mean.  WTF  Seriously.  It's a shopping center, not Northwest DC.  I had no change on me since I used it all paying for metered parking in the city.  So I found my inner UMD student, pulled out the ghetto pass and drove around waiting until someone pulled out with extra time, despite the fact that there were tons of empty spaces. 

Second of all.  I don't care what any of you say.  Maryland. Worst. Drivers. Ever.  It's clear that most of them probably learn from driving around the UMD campus, where apparently STOP SIGN RULES DON'T APPLY and PEDESTRIANS CAN STOP CARS WITH THEIR IRON STRENGTH BECAUSE GOD FORBID THOSE IN CONTROL OF VEHICLES NEED TO YIELD. 

I was pretty sour by the time I parked and took a stroll through campus and checked out the student union.  Maybe it was being in an enclosed space with the UMD students, but I broke out into hives.  Now not to say much for the hygiene of students, but I'm pretty sure that they occurred at the precise moment when I was in the bookstore looking at the UMD apparel and saw a plain button down shirt that looked like any shirt you could get at any store in the mall, with the small exception that the word "Terps" was stitched on the tip of the collar.  Freaks.

The school, though, is really spectacular.  Based on hearsay, I had always imagined UMD to be just awful, old and ugly.  Not true.  It's a beautiful campus, great architecture and grounds.  Okay so fine, I was wrong about one thing.

And then I got to the class and compared to the other school, the people participated, the teacher cultivated a great learning environment, the classroom was new, equipped with technology and well-maintained.  The professor introduced me and I got to speak to a few people before class about the nature of the program and how they liked the school. Everything was lining up.  I was getting excited about this. 

And then right before the class began, one of the students leaned over and whispered in my ear "Dude, if you do end up coming here, take this class.  So easy.  And the teacher is such an easy grader."

Welcome to the University of Maryland. 
by: DJGroovySlug at November 30, 2006 23:42 | link | comments (1)

Wednesday, 29 November 2006

So in the office, like any office, we've hired out the watering of the plants to some outsourcing company that only waters plants.  Can you believe these guys make a living doing this?

Whenever our plant guy comes in, I envy his life.  Here I am, staring at the little glowing box, feeling my eyes go bad right before...my eyes...and this jerk struts in, waters some plants and probably makes the same amount as I do. 

To be fair, I feel like his job is way more rewarding than people give him credit for.  He's like a doctor, but not for respectable things like animals or cars (or humans) but for plants.  I mean, in theory, any of us could do it.  It's not exactly challenging.  But I feel like I could get a lot out of it.  So I wish I was the plant guy.

But how do I know his life is really all that sweet?  Okay, he looks like a total hippy.  I mean there is no way this man doesn't hit the grass regularly, if ya know what I'm sayin.  He's rail thin, has a beard AND long hair.  And he waters plants for a living. It's like there's some hippy kit out there, complete with a job and haircut, and this guy bought one of the deluxe packages.  So I'm assuming that somewhere in suburban Virginia there is a cute little hippy house that smells of patchouli, where not a single tortured creature's body has ever crossed the doormat, and that this man is the master of that land. 

But maybe he's really miserable.  Maybe he's bitter at a world where corporations hire people simply to water plants.  Maybe he's slowly poisoning our water.  Maybe he's actually some kind of corporate shill, infiltrating our firm while he uses his secret watering can/Palm Treo to make huge international buyouts of small companies while buying his own island out in Micronesia.

Maybe I have too much time on my hands.
by: DJGroovySlug at November 29, 2006 16:16 | link | comments (1)

Tuesday, 28 November 2006

This may speak entirely too much to how infantile I really am, but I FUCKING LOVE THIS (use sound).  I had no idea what Boobah was until some other people mentioned it's a show akin to Teletubbies.  Basically, I'm amused by Teletubbies.  Needless to say, I spent an insane amount of time on this. I like to think of it as part of the Beatnik era, Happenings and whatnot.  Bongos.  Trippy, man. 
by: DJGroovySlug at November 28, 2006 23:25 | link | comments (3)

Tuesday, 21 November 2006

Who's Team are You On?

My quest to obtain better and better TV features continues. There is DVR in the house.  I repeat, there is DVR in the house.  

This is actual way more vital to my roommate, who can now keep up with her various confounding shows, like Grey's Anatomy, Dancing with the Stars and Flavor Flav.  I can't think of a single show that I would hate to miss, best exemplified by the conversation I had with The Boy about it:

Me: I got us (Shanna and myself) DVR!!!
Boy: Yay! What are you going to record?
Me: ....

Really, I have never been so out of the loop in my life.  What shows are out there?  What should I watch? When do they come on? And most importantly, why should I watch them?  I do enjoy an episode of The Office, which The Boy records and lets me watch when I'm over at his place.  But I'm pretty neutral about whether I not I miss the current episode.

That being said, I feel VERY VERY STRONGLY about the whole Pam-Jim-Karen love triangle, currently in full swing now that the two offices have merged.  And now two other bloggers have taken the debate commercial with "Team Pam" and "Team Karen" t-shirts.

The Boy, being the sensitive soul that he is, votes Team Karen "because she's hot."  Lovely.  Naturally I'm on Team Pam, since  Pam has the goods when it comes to humor.  Karen would NEVER go outside and time Dwight running around the building.
by: DJGroovySlug at November 21, 2006 11:32 | link | comments (4)

Monday, 20 November 2006

There is a God

O.J. Simpson book, TV show canceled
by: DJGroovySlug at November 20, 2006 16:36 | link | comments

Friday, 17 November 2006

by: DJGroovySlug at November 17, 2006 18:21 | link | comments

Thursday, 16 November 2006

"The joke is not on Kazakhstan," he said. "I think the joke is on people who can believe that the Kazakhstan that I describe can exist -- who believe that there's a country where homosexuals wear blue hats and the women live in cages and they drink fermented horse urine."

He said he always had faith in the audience to realize this was a fictitious country and the mere purpose of it was to allow people to bring out their own prejudices.

"I think part of the movie shows the absurdity of holding any form of racial prejudice, whether it's hatred of African-Americans or of Jews," said Baron Cohen, a devout Jew who keeps kosher and the Sabbath when he can.

-Sascha Baron Cohen on "Borat"
by: DJGroovySlug at November 16, 2006 09:28 | link | comments

Wednesday, 15 November 2006

Funniest Washington Post Chat Question EVER

From the Washington Post Holiday Shopping Strategies Chat:

Boys Don't Grow Up: My boyfriend is in his mid-20's and he wants a gaming system this Christmas: the new Xbox, Playstation, Wii, etc. He's not too picky. While this seems like a gift for a teenager, it's the first time he's ever talked about something like this so I assume he really wants one. What's the best one? Where can I buy these short-in-supply systems? I'm looking to spend less than $300.

The reporter didn't exactly give a straight answer beyond sending her to the link for Best Buy but I think my roommate Shanna puts it most succinctly:

Shanna: Good luck to her and her $300.  Her boyfriend is getting nothing. Her best bet would be to steal one.
by: DJGroovySlug at November 15, 2006 14:09 | link | comments (2)

Wednesday, 15 November 2006

Making My Friends Write My Material Since 2004

Say Bobby, if I wanted a guy to know that I liked him, what sort of signals should I be giving him?

OH, well i'm glad you asked....keep in mind some of these are not so subtle so I'm not sure if you'd want to use them, however, the less subtle the signs the more the guy enjoys them...
 
1.) Touching-- touching is a great sign, especially when accompanied with a rub, irrespective of the direction of the rub, whether it be clockwise or counter-clockwise. Arm and leg touches are a wonderful sign. Thigh rubs are a precursor to sex. 
 
2.) Greeting/Goodbye Hugs-- subject to the interpretation of the individual recieving the hug, but outside the context of friendship, the greeting/goodbye hug is a good sign.
 
3.) Pet names-- the following is a list of pet names that, if used, may indicate some good lovin' is forthcoming: honey, hun, cutie, baby, babe, sexy, good lookin'. These may sound like boyfriend/girlfriend words, but don't be fooled, used outside the context of a BF/GF relationship, these words are a harbinger of sex.
 
4.) Post-hangout text messages--I cannot emphasize enough just how symbolic this little gesture can be. A post-hangout text message symbolizes two things: 1.) It says I had a good time, I look forward to seeing you again, etc. and 2.) you're still on my mind. Let me elaborate on this second point. When you hang out with someone whom you're not interested in, you part ways for the night by saying your good-byes and leave it at that. When it's someone you're interested in, you say your good-byes, but more likely than not, upon leaving, that person is still on your mind, hence the post-hangout text message. I'm a staunch believer in this gesture, and strongly recommend utilizing it to its fullest potential.
by: DJGroovySlug at November 15, 2006 12:57 | link | comments

Tuesday, 14 November 2006

by: DJGroovySlug at November 14, 2006 09:55 | link | comments (1)