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Home » March 2007

Friday, 30 March 2007

3:31 PM, Friday Afternoon. Delusions.

The Boy (completely serious): Let's go home now.
Me: Sure, let me just saddle up my unicorn/pegasus hybrid and I'll be right over to pick you up.
by: DJGroovySlug at March 30, 2007 15:48 | link | comments

Thursday, 29 March 2007

Last night we stopped at Petsmart to get some things for the hamster, my cuddly wuddly ball of fur and love.  And we stopped to coo at the hamster babies they had there and a part of me sobbed inside, knowing how my baby's all grown up and running around like a psychotic twat.  Dumb hamster.

Suddenly this taut faced women who looked like she'd had a bit too much work done (if you know what I'm sayin') approached us and asked if were were considering getting one and we informed her we already had a little bundle of joy at home.  She replied that she had 5, one had just died this morning.  FIVE! I was excited.  Someone loved hamsters as much as me!

As she kept talking, I was thoroughly entranced as this woman had clearly reached only my dream level of hamsterdom: a separate room where she kept "the kids."  Each hamster had it's own very elaborate, very large cage and she went around the store showing us things that were good for hamsters and which weren't. 

My eyes got all big and excited but then she kept talking.  She told us that one of the rooms in their house was the hamsters' play room and described in elaborate detail the setup of toys and treats laid out during their assigned playtimes.  Now don't get me wrong, I love to buy my hamster colorful crap that would make for a good photo-op but even I'm not deluded enough to believe my hamster has any other plan for these items beyond "How can this help me escape the giant glass box?"  Either way, she talked me into this giant nutrient covered coconut and these really cute salt lick things shaped like iced cream cones. 

As we left, it was clear The Boy was concerned that this was my future: a life dedicated to hamsters and entirely too much botox?  Would I be the crazy woman who used a lot of self tanner, helping out a couple of crazy kids in the local PetSmart?  Would I start collecting hamsters and would my house start to smell like I had a million dogs in it?  Would the SPCA come and take me away and I'd have to explain how these animals NEEDED me, damnit, I'm their Mom!!

My god, please don't let this be my future.  I went home and dumped the toys into the hamsters cage (it's now so full of stuff, she is basically walking around a giant obstacle course) and pretended to love her just a tiny bit less, if, for nothing else, to make myself feel better.  There is nothing wrong with me.  I am in a normal relationship, with a normal job and a normal number of hamsters.  I slept well.
by: DJGroovySlug at March 29, 2007 11:24 | link | comments (1)

Wednesday, 28 March 2007

I received an e-mail this morning advising "ARELENE - Book your vacation now!"  Well! Don't mind if I do!

I can take the e-mail's suggestions and perhaps visit the "Disney Studious" but I think I'll pass.  I'm thinking China. 

Honestly, it's definitely time to start thinking about my next couple of trips. 

I'm visiting family in April, which is not all that fun, except we'll be spending one day in San Francisco and I hope my one meal in that city will make up for lots of awkward family talk, namely involving my lack of interest in self-tanner and the Catholic Church.  My family is weird. 

I have a potential business trip coming up and I was really looking forward to it at first, particularly when they narrowed down the choices to Los Angeles or Seattle.  And then somehow it all got turned around to Minneapolis and so now I'm stuck with the Mall of America, which, I discovered, isn't even the biggest mall in America anymore.  So what's the point?  What do people do for fun in Minnesota?  Anyone know anyone I can visit and hang out with in Minneapolis?  Man, I hope somehow it turns out I don't have to go.  OH.  And that's the weekend of the Chowder Festival in Newport, RI.  So I guess I'll be missing that too. 

Obviously I want to go back to NYC.  But the big trip will be the trip before school starts.  Since I plan on schooling through the summers, I won't have a ton of breaks for vacations (plus I'll be so exhausted, I'll probably just want to stay home.)  And while the beach was amazing last year, I think I'd like to do a new country and make it a long trip.  The only problem is, how in the world do people find other people to travel with? Planning with the boy is like pulling teeth.

So right now, I'm swimming around the idea of really grand schemes.  We're talking Australia, Asia or Africa.  No lying on white sand beaches with rum cocktails in expensive bathing suits for me.  Any ideas?
by: DJGroovySlug at March 28, 2007 09:57 | link | comments (5)

Sunday, 25 March 2007

I'm hooked.  Sign me up for every 5k out there.  So much fun, and I say this even after standing around for an hour and fifteen minutes in at 7am in 50 degree rainy weather wearing only my running gear.  And discovering my iPod had zero charge.  Couldn't even listen to one song.  And I left my Metro card at home so I wouldn't be able to Metro home which meant calling The Boy to come pick me up.  Actually that was probably more a problem for him. 

My time was 30:01 with a pace of about 9:41 mile.  I know that sounds really unspectacular until you realize I've been running an eleven minute mile during my training.  So GO ME.

I placed 45th among women in my age group (260 overall for women).  Woohoo!  Man, if I can get down to a 7 minute mile....I guess there's always something to work for.

I also had my first ever nutrition bar, I chose a Cliff bar since I liked the packaging.  Man, do people really snack on that shit?  It was so dense.  At least it fills you up, but if people are really deluded to believe they are helping their body eating those things...I can think of only a few occasions where eating them would be appropriate and the words "scaling mountain," "marathon," and "starvation" would come to mind.  But I guess it gave me the energy I needed and it tasted alright for something not-unlike a chocolate granola brick.

The only thing to temper my happiness at this and the fact that I'm lounging around in my wonderful bed this morning, waiting for my friends to show up so we can go play tennis and then have a pancake-off (bisquick or aunt jemima pancakes? stay tuned for a report) is that Kansas lost last night and I had them winning the championship.  So, there goes my bracket.  Stupid Kansas.
by: DJGroovySlug at March 25, 2007 10:27 | link | comments (2)

Friday, 23 March 2007

I'm trying to avoid yet another post that begins with some variation on "You know what I hate?" Because besides the fact that you don't want to sit there and go through my extensive catalog, including "tourists that move through the metro like bovine" and "Starbucks," I'm trying not to remind myself that I am my father's daughter.  My father, the man who invented the attitude that everyone else is doing everything wrong and I'm the only one who knows how to do it right, nevermind what "it" is, because it's everything.  Combine that with my mother, who, at dinner this week, interrupted me and my father's discussion on the future of my car to ask me how I liked her earrings, and suddenly the words self-righteous narcissist don't seem to be a term designated for the celebrity set.

The winter rut is basically over.   I finally feel like there are things on the horizon, things worth getting excited about, and by things I mean good happy things and not sad things like, oh, I don't know, graduate school tuition and juggling a full-time work with a full-time school schedule and commuting between Virginia, D.C. and Maryland with a car that has cost over $1100 worth of repairs in a two month period.

Instead, let's discuss how I wisely purchased tickets to Wolfmother as soon as they went on sale, because they are now sold out not even a week later. And how to add to that awesomeness, Virgin Fest will occur again this year, but it will be double the fun as a two day event with The Police, Smashing Pumpkins and - my personal SUPER EXCITED ABOUT FAVORITE - the Beastie Boys.  I'm not an outoors kind of gal, but I honestly hope they will allow camping.  I would've been a total hippie in the 70s  (ACK! FATHER'S DAUGHTER!! CHILD OF HIPPIE REFORMED INTO BABY BOOMER CORPORATE SHILL ALERT).

Also, I'm stoked about today. Today is one of those days where everyone will be leaving work early, there is no doubt about that.  I even planned on it before my boss came in 20 minutes ago and told me there was no point in me sticking around late. This happens all the time in Washington.  It gets warm and people just kinda stop working past 4pm and for the next 8 hours you can't find a single place to sit down outside and drink a beer in peace because everyone and their mom and their mom's dog is trying to do the same thing.  And yes that will be me in t-minus 3 hours.

Speaking of which, The Boy is taking me carboloading tonight, which behind ice cream sundae and credit card, is easily one of the best concepts in the world.  Eat lots of pasta without guilt and for your health? Yes, please. 

My race is tomorrow and I can't deny that I'm nervous.  What's the protocol for all of this?  Do I hang way back with the people who are doing this for fun? Because it is just for fun! So when I do badly don't you laugh at the fact that it took me 40 minutes to run three miles!! That's better than 2 months ago when I started my "training" and couldn't even run the three miles. 

And finally, Lent ends in a few weeks and I can finally shop again.  My will is much weaker this time but the only things I've really bought that haven't been regular cleansing replacements were a cheese grater, workout headphones and a new trashcan for the bathroom, all of which were needed although I probably could've waited to buy them.  Except the workout headphones, iPod earbuds suck for working out and I'm running a race tomorrow.  I'm aching for some new spring clothes, mostly for work where I realized I dress like a total slob.  Pairing a a cotton jersey t-shirt with black slacks does not a professional outfit make. Also, I almost bought a crock pot.  Don't ask me why.  This is America, everyone needs a crockpot.
by: DJGroovySlug at March 23, 2007 12:30 | link | comments

Wednesday, 21 March 2007

List of Things to Complain About/Hate On

Just for, you know, when I actually start blogging again.

1. Annoying people
2.  REALLY annoying people
3. People who hate on generic whole subjects, like "TV"
4. Haters in general
5. REALLY REALLY ANNOYING PEOPLE.
6. PMS (for good measure)
by: DJGroovySlug at March 21, 2007 13:37 | link | comments (1)

Monday, 19 March 2007

I was walking through the grocery store parking lot just now when BAM it hit me, the sort of "a-ha!" revelation, like suddenly you remembered the name of track three on Paula Abdul's "Spellbound" tape that you had on permanent rewind at age 11.

I figured out why I didn't like "Babel."

Why the hell does the nice Mexican nanny housekeeper get stuck with the short end of the stick?  She tries to attend her only son's wedding while her employers are off on some exotic vacation through Morocco working through their "problems" because Brad Pitt can't keep his dick in his pants and they're on some air conditioned bus full of french people, their Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchettness seeping through with every ounce of "sweat" that oozes from their pores and GOD FORBID CATE BLANCHETT URINATE HERSELF while oh darn, the Mexican woman who cares for their children lost her job and is kicked out of the country, isn't that sad and HEY LET'S GO LOOK AT A NAKED JAPANESE CHICK NOW.

GOD THAT MOVIE PISSED ME OFF.

Whew.  I feel better.  Time to go make some dinner.
by: DJGroovySlug at March 19, 2007 18:32 | link | comments

Tuesday, 13 March 2007

If You Believe It, It's True

I like the new Gap ad with Claire Danes and Patrick Wilson. 
There is nothing wrong with me.
I like the new Gap ad with Claire Danes and Patrick Wilson. 
There is nothing wrong with me.
I like the new Gap ad with Claire Danes and Patrick Wilson. 
There is nothing wrong with me.
I like the new Gap ad with Claire Danes and Patrick Wilson. 
There is nothing wrong with me.
I like the new Gap ad with Claire Danes and Patrick Wilson. 
There is nothing wrong with me.
I like the new Gap ad with Claire Danes and Patrick Wilson. 
There is nothing wrong with me.
I like the new Gap ad with Claire Danes and Patrick Wilson. 
There is nothing wrong with me.
by: DJGroovySlug at March 13, 2007 21:49 | link | comments

Tuesday, 13 March 2007

State of the Apartment: 2007

A few weekends ago, when it was still cold and gross, I spent my weekend cleaning the apartment.   I managed to clean up a lot of stuff just lying around, toss out some of my old clothes and do some serious work on the bathtub (as yet unsuccessful.  I have yet to replicate my mother's brand of spotless clean.  Must be something you just gain in motherhood, which may mean...I need to hire a cleaning lady).

I failed to realize how much stuff you just ignore in your place when you just...ignore it.  I went through and documented some of the things that, I like to think, give our apartment its "character."  And what is that character, you ask?  Hillbilly Hipster.



Well we're classy folk at the apartment and are really into culture and stuff.  I ordered these paintings in bulk from some artist all the way up in New York City, that's where them real artists live.  It's painted in acrylic on plywood with the wire stapled directly into the plywood for easy hanging (see the staples on the cactus painting?).  If you notice, those two faces are portraits of Joni Mitchell and Abraham Lincoln, the finest pieces of our collection.  We 'specially like the desert setting and there's another one of some cowboys that we'll be putting over the chimney. 

That nice lil Weber mini-grill over by the door is great when we fry up some ham hock and collard greens in the summer.  Git you some Busch, sit out on the stoop with the dogs on the grill and it's a fine time, I tell ya.

Also amongst the paintings, that there's an old cable box we ain't used in a while.




This here's our Christmas tree.  We bought it live and while it's not doing so well as over the holidays, those needles are still holding strong, 'cepting for those lazy ones at the base.  I imagine we'll keep it until after Easter.

This is also our bar, where we keep the fancy liquor.  That's some fine Haitian rum in the liquor dispenser and a bottle of red I got at the Giant for $7.  We're saving that for a special occasion.  Also, the book is TGI Friday's Guide to Drinks, for when we entertain. 

That's a sippy cup.  It appeared in the dish cleanin machine three weeks ago and I left it here, with all our other collectibles.




Our shower curtain, which provides a nice atmospheric setting that reminds me when we visited Palm Springs two years ago.  Ain't it purty to look at? It's a bit on the mucky side, what with four people regularly showering in it.  Our apartment is like a college dorm, without all the fun stuff like beer pong and lack of accountability.  Dang I miss college.




This is our gallery of sorts, where only the finest pieces are hung.  This particular piece is the shooting range target from when I got to shoot a real gun - title "I shot yu'ns"  It was originally a set of four but art cannot last forever and over time the others were destroyed.

Thanks for taking a gander at our home!  Ya'll come back now ya here!
by: DJGroovySlug at March 13, 2007 09:54 | link | comments (1)

Sunday, 11 March 2007

Have you read the NYT article about couples who have started designing homes with dual master bedrooms so the couple can sleep separately?  [Ed. Note: I am loving the New York Times lately.  I like my news snobby and hipster now.]

The Boy brought it up at the coffee shop this morning and we got into a heated discussion which involved my defending the "traditional" marriage bed in terms of the dual bedroom representing selfishness and excess.  I mean, the only people who can afford to have this are people who can afford to add extra rooms to their house, or those who are older and have children long gone.  AND GOD DAMNIT THE SACRED MARRIAGE BED WILL BE DESTROYED.

I guess the whole thing made me miffed.  Sleeping is one of the few times I can stand The Boy.  What we need are separate houses, connected to a central bedroom where we can hang out in the blissful quiet of sleep, free from XBOX and The Hills and other divisive topics.  Ah he's never so cute and appealing as when he's sleeping and not opening his trap to say infuriating things like "Halo 2" and "fantasy sports." 

So I'm going to Austin! I'm actually only saying this to really confuse Jordan.  But really, I'm going to Austin! To stay with Jen FriendsWithAmalah (that's her Indian name)!  YAY AUSTIN!  Now, how to get down there for less than $400...
by: DJGroovySlug at March 11, 2007 17:48 | link | comments (5)