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Friday, 21 October 2005
One of those mornings? No, one of THOSE mornings.
I really am sort of this awkward klutz. And a bit of a flake. I mean, haven't you figured that out yet? I got caught in a stairwell, for sobbing outloud.
Everything was going fine, I mean, as fine as you can get when it's 60 degrees and pouring rain. Waking up: uneventful. Metro ride: uneventful. But as soon as I get to the office building, everything just sort of crumbles around me.
They have these umbrella bags in the lobby, positioned with a sign admonishing us to help keep the lobby floors dry. I'm a good sport, so I grab one and try to put my umbrella in. But the bags were designed for long slender golf umbrellas and my squat little umbrella would not fit. It turned into a struggle and I'm sure the security guards had a good laugh watching me get insanely frustrated over the bag to umbrella size ratio. Eventually I let the umbrella win this one and I got on the elevator with my half assed umbrella bagging effort (with the umbrella sort of dangling out of the bag).
So one of our lawyers happens to get on the elevator at the same time as me and we're standing there, obeying the code of elevators. Then we reach the floor and I go to step off....except my high heel gets caught in the little space between the elevator and the actual floor. I didn't take physics in college, choosing to work my lab science off dissecting pigs, but we all know that an object in motion stays in motion unless acted on by an unbalanced force. So I'm still trying to exit the elevator and my now-caught shoe holds me back, basically pitching straight towards the floor. Luckily I manage to lose the shoe before I hit the floor and save myself.
The lawyer, not realizing what happened, follows right behind me and trips over my shoe, still caught in that little space. There was major awkwardness as I tried to compose myself and avoid being pummeled by the lawyer at the same time. Luckily we didn't make contact.
But my shoe remained in the elevator. And in what were quite possibly the most embarrassing 15 seconds of my life, I struggled and strained to get that damn shoe out. And the lawyer was standing by, making comments like "wow, that's really stuck in there." Go away!!! Let me deal with my shame in peace! Oh but no, he wasn't the only one, as there had been someone standing there waiting to take the elevator back down. And so she stood and watched the whole event as well. Oh yeah, and did I mention that the lady sitting at the front desk watched it all too? When I came in, she looked at me and said "You're having one of those mornings, aren't you?" ARGH!!!!
And really, all I wanted to talk about was how yesterday I went to all you can eat wings, dubbed "The Night of a Thousand Wings." I ate 22 wings in all, and was yelled at when I ordered a sundae afterwards, because if I had room for a sundae, I had room for more wings damnit. Then my really good friend (and I'm being completely sarcastic here) had the good sense to tell me that without the sundae and pitcher of beer, I probably consumed about three times the healthy limit of fat grams in a single day. Thanks buddy!!
Here's basket #2
Yes, that orange stuff at the bottom was PURE GREASE. Vive Night of a Thousand Wings!
by: DJGroovySlug at October 21, 2005 07:38 | link | comments (14) random thoughts
