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Monday, 01 September 2008

I Hate Men, Plus My Otherwise Great Weekend

It's weird writing on what is essentially the weekend but with school looming high and a quiet night at home, I can't help but want to talk now. 

My weekend was the complete opposite of lively and action-packed but it was a wonderful mental break nonetheless.  The Boy had a procedure Friday morning so the hamster and I worked hard caring for the poor invalid.  He can't really walk far or fast and can't actually sit so there's a lot of laying about.  I picked up fresh veggies from a farmer's market and prepared us eggplant parmesan with homemade tomato sauce which he declared a hit.  I spent most of the time on his wonderful balcony overlooking the pool, reading everything - the entire Sunday Washington Post, books I've been trying to get through - and napping in the sun.  We walked down the block for coffee in the morning and played board games and it was so mentally relaxing that I almost cried today in anticipation for the week/semester/year/life.

Then today I decided to head over to Merdian Hill Park to read in the grass, where I was approached by three separate males who felt the need to bother me while I was reading, to ask what I was reading, whether I wanted to be their friend, and to make crude jokes and frankly I rarely receive catcalls or such but FUCK YOU DUDES.   Why do men insist on pushing you until you are required to be rude? Why is it when I say "I'm busy reading now, you're interrupting," that is met with blank stares and sitting there until I literally start yelling at them to get away from me?  Why don't men have a filter?  Is it some form of Y chromosome retardism?  Are all males mildly autistic and can't read human body signals?  Sometimes I just wish the appropriate and legal response for unwanted attention was a quick pepper spray shot to the face but males have a history of reacting with the maturity of a four year old so, for my own physical health, I'll refrain.

Finally, a lesson learned: Never read a book in public whose title contains the word "sex".  Sigh.  Next time for park reading: How to Shoot Human Targets With Deadly Accuracy. 
by: DJGroovySlug at September 01, 2008 21:39 | link | comments

Monday, 25 August 2008

Things I Was Supposed to Accomplish on My Friday Off

  • Install a mirror I bought a month ago
  • Do my laundry - I'm currently on the ill-fitting underpants in my collection
  • Donate all my old crap to the Salvation Army
  • Go grocery shopping
  • Start a long-term project for school that I've been putting off
  • Cash some checks
  • Hair cut

Things I Actually Accomplished on My Friday Off:

  • Watched two episodes of Sister, Sister
  • Got breakfast bagels with The Boy (who is working from home for a while)
  • Mailed two packages
  • Ate some Rita's italian ice
  • Ate some Doritos right after
  • Fell asleep during Under the Tuscan Sun
  • Caught the Golden Girls hour at 4pm on Lifetime
  • Used a neti pot for the first time
  • Swiffered
by: DJGroovySlug at August 25, 2008 09:48 | link | comments (4)

Thursday, 21 August 2008

In Which I Hatch The Most Brilliant Plan IN THE WORLD

If you've been following along on my tumblr, you'll notice that I tend to harp about the Olympics a little too much, namely that it makes me cry and that I love the sap and sometime in the past couple of days I realized: I need to go to the Olympics.  And I don't mean, you know, buy a ticket and book a hotel in London 2012.   I'm going to the Olympics to compete.   As an athlete.

This is not impossible!! That swimmer lady was like in her 40s which means maybe if I train for the next 15 years maybe I too can swim real fast.   Okay let's face it, I will not be getting into the Olympics with any sort of athletic skill, particularly anything that requires excellent lung capacity.   After reviewing the list of programs,  it appears I am most likely to be able to compete in table tennis, archery, and I'll throw in rhythmic gymnastics for good measure because I can outtwirl any ole bitch.  Once I have that swirly ribbon in my hand, it's like watching a pixie fairy float through the air. 

The real kicker though is whatever field I chose is basically going to be inundated at the national tryouts level.  I have no chance in the USA since there will be 150 other morons with the same goal as me.  I mean, how many dolts are great at table tennis thanks to their parents basement and a little too much hooch?  Dozens, easily.

So the most obvious answer is to represent another country.   I haven't actually lived anywhere besides England and Japan, both of which have their own solid representations of athleticism.    Besides I don't qualify for residency. 

Luckily my mother one day decided to leave the smog of Manila behind and spend her time drinking her way through Australia, where she met my father.  And the rest is history.  Sure I've only been to the Philippines once and I certainly wasn't born there but I emerged from my mom's womb which was begat in the Philippines. I'm practically a legacy.   Now I just have to find out if she's still technically a citizen.  (Wow I just realized a secondary Coolness Factor involved here: If I get a Philippino passport, Cuba here I come!!)

The mother country has only earned a net total of seven medals in the history of the modern Olympics, and only in the fields of boxing, track and swimming.  What they need is a real hero, someone with style and spunk, a beauty with determination and zeal for life.    I will be their champion.  I will lead my people to glory and gold.  In table tennis.  Or archery.  Or rhythmic gymnastics
by: DJGroovySlug at August 21, 2008 16:14 | link | comments (5)

Monday, 18 August 2008

Laziness Quota Fulfilled!!

My wireless mouse is clearly out of juice and has simply stopped working but that has not deterred me!  I simply use my laptop trackpad, nevermind that the laptop is arranged in such a way that using the trackpad is more work than going and getting a battery.  And while I'm up maybe I can get a paper towel to pick up that small spill of soy sauce from my sushi lunch.  Yep.  In a second.  Just getting motivated.

I had a pretty solid weekend.  I threw a casual BBQ shindig in my backyard and discovered that not only can I grill but I can grill spectactularly and I am practically a goddess of fire, a Pele of Propane, if you will.  Then somehow we were out until last call and man am I pooped.  We slept until 1pm. 

Then The Boy treated me to a specatcular dinner for Restaurant Week at Tosca, which was the highlight of this summer's RW extravaganza.  The main courses was good but I can still taste the lush and fragrant bitter chocolate semifreddo with olive oil ice cream.  I am thisclose to buying an ice cream maker so that I can try making it myself.  THISCLOSE. 

I also hit up Charlie Palmer's Steak with some friends which was fun simply since the place was spectacularly ritzy and we were spectactularly underdressed.  That, and playing The Let's Find Wine With Price Tags Smaller Than Three Digits Game, which was fun. I'm pretty sure we won since the wine rocked but then my credit card feels awfully heavy this morning.  Taberna del Alabardero had great service and good food but I wasn't overwhelmed.  That interior is pretty though.  Good date sort of place. 

I also made a few more minor adjustments to my place and it's amazing what a few throw pillows and a floor lamp can do for a previously standard-looking living space.  YAY.  I'm way more excited about that than anything else going on in my life, which is pretty much nothing so that explains it.  I can't believe it's already August 18.   What in the heck am I doing with my life, besides researching ice cream makers? 
by: DJGroovySlug at August 18, 2008 13:45 | link | comments (2)

Monday, 11 August 2008

Weekend Update & August Snapshot

  • Typical early Friday at work, so I headed over to Georgetown for some beauty goodies and was utterly exhausted by the time I made it home.  Pampered myself, had some sushi and then watched tv for four straight hours.  Olympic Opening Ceremony!!! SOOOO AWESOME.  Then The Boy came to get me and as I'm stepping out the door, there is a cockroach on my doormat who was like "why thank you!" and ambled his way right into my apartment.  NO WAY WAS THAT FUCKER GETTING AWAY WITH THAT SHIT.  Naturally, hilarity ensued during the attempt to kill the cockroach without actually squashing its guts out onto my floor.  The Boy called me five times from his car, wondering what in the heck I was doing. 
  • The next morning I was still exhausted at 11am but The Boy forced me out of bed for the first time in our entire relationship.  Seriously folks, write that down!! August 9, 2008:  Adam wakes up Arlene first!  I kid.  I was unusually tired, but I had agreed to help him clean his apartment so we (I) did that.  Then I fell asleep again and there there was some furniture shopping and test driving cars and zzzzz.  The evening finished in my backyard where we grilled some burgers and had some beers and then we watched Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay which was stupid.
  • Sunday was brunch at Bourbon, trip through the zoo, stopping by to listen to the Meridian Hill Park drum circle, and then dinner at Commonwealth.  Huzzah for a successful weekend!

wearing: Skirts and dresses nonstop, at least until this morning which was cool and crisp.  Also, since my legs got bitten up by mosquitoes. 
listening to: For some reason I've really gotten into groovy disco pop like Justice and Hercules and the Love Affair.  Good for cleaning/driving/homeworking/cooking to. 
reading: The Corrections which I'm having trouble finishing. 
watching: The Olympics!! Although I cannot for the life of me figure out what channel it's actually on.  Is it NBC?  The DC channels are all different than the ones in VA and with the added complication that now I have HD channels which doubles my channels but they aren't all called the same thing nor do they appear in the same order as Standard Def and plus the HD channels are confusing me because they added some extra Olympic channels but they only seem to play soccer and basketball so GOD but my life is so hard.  Seriously, what channel is it on? I missed the killer relay swim race thingy. 
craving: Ice cold beers in frosty mugs.
wondering:   The usual: where should I go on vacation? Where should I get my haircut? 
wishing: Decorating came naturally to me.  I'm not any good at this!! Am I supposed to match things?  Like matchy-matchy or just matchy?
lusting after: I hate to say it, but I really miss my car.  I've given it up for a month as a test and really, I just want it back.  
loving: The weather is fabulous.  The Olympics are fun.  Grilling.  Gummi Bear.  Adam.
hating:  Mosquitoes. Cockroaches.  Nature in general. 
missing:  Sweet Gadget, but I have a new critter to love now.
impatiently awaiting:  Nothing.  I wish this month would last forever. 
dreading:  In the back of my head is the nagging little voice: you have to go back to school in less than a month!!
by: DJGroovySlug at August 11, 2008 10:13 | link | comments (2)

Wednesday, 06 August 2008

The Boy has a week off since he's in between jobs and he just informed me he's hopping over to Barney's Co-Op to check out a few things.  Barney's Co-Op without me!?  He shouldn't even be leaving the house.  You have no health insurance Adam!!  You should be home, alone, bored, and safe.  And bored.  Or catching up on Mad Men, like you said you would, so we can watch the second episode of Season 2 already, which I'm waiting to watch thanks to you.  {tapping fingers impatiently]

The new hamster is a dream, a true little baby that pees everywhere, including on me.  Sigh.  The Boy has spent the better part of the week mocking me since she isn't quite ready for us to hold her ("I thought you were supposed to be like the Hamster Whisperer?") but it's not my fault she's developing slowly.   She's so cute to look at!! It's like tv, without any annoying dialogue, unless you count the cooing and baby talk coming from a certain Hamster Whisperer.

We've reached critical Week Five of Arlene Nags The Boy For A Vacation and we're currently on the cusp of Phase: Arlene Demands a Vacation And Threatens To Go On A Singles Cruise.    We talked a little about it last night but then we had too many beers and the last thing I remember is dancing to Gnarls Barkley.  Oh wait, that's right, we went to the Gnarls Barkley concert.   Anywho, The Boy said he would spend the rest of his week working on that but obviously we all know he's totally shirking his duties since he's WAY too busy shopping at Barney's Co-Op.  Busted.
by: DJGroovySlug at August 06, 2008 13:56 | link | comments (1)

Tuesday, 05 August 2008

My Morning Happy Pill

by: DJGroovySlug at August 05, 2008 09:13 | link | comments

Monday, 04 August 2008

Introducing Lady Gwendolyn Clementine Barksdale



Boy: Her name is Gummi Bear?

Me: Yes

Boy: Isn't that a little generic?

Me: Well what would you like me to call her?

Me: Green Gummi Bear?

Me: The Reject Flavor No One Wants Gummi Bear?
by: DJGroovySlug at August 04, 2008 12:53 | link | comments (2)

Monday, 21 July 2008

Weekend Update

It's been a while since I've done one of these because, let's face it, my life is dull and hamsterless.  Zzzzz.  I can barely get through this without a nap.

  • Attempted to go to Granville Moore's with a friend.  Mistake.  Damn you Bobby Flay and your stupid show and your poor mussel-making skills.  THREE HOUR WAIT PAST WHEN THE KITCHEN WOULD OFFICIALLY CLOSE.  Grumble grumble.
  • Ended up at Sticky Rice which was AWESOME.  Except we ordered way too much food and I took some home and ate sushi for leftovers the next morning, it was that good.  Uhhhh, so Sticky Rice sucked.  Don't go there (not screwing myself over like I did with GMoore's).
  • Ran around doing errand-y stuff.
  • Dark Knight on IMAX.  When the first scene filmed in IMAX popped up, the whole crowd oohhed and ahhhed.  Heath Ledger really is That Good.
  • Cleaned up my apartment.  Feels like a real home now, minus a few things I'm waiting to arrive in the mail.  Empty without hamster.  We looked at a couple over the weekend, but it's still too soon.
  • Mad Men marathon in HD.  Yay new season.
by: DJGroovySlug at July 21, 2008 14:16 | link | comments (4)

Thursday, 17 July 2008

My Heart Is Broken

It's a little hard to write this and I'm a little verklempt even as I type but we had to take Gadget in last night.  She'd been failing for the past month or so but 2 years is a good long time for a hamster, so I guess this means Gadget wins at life.  Except now I'm sad and I'm dealing with the first time where trying to bribe myself with a new purse isn't making me feel better.  Sigh. 


(those unkempt fingernails are not my own, but The Boy's, in Gadget's last photo shoot.)
by: DJGroovySlug at July 17, 2008 10:44 | link | comments (4)